Peer-to-Peer Mentoring Fits at Any Stage of Your Career
Not a friendship but a mutually-beneficial service
Peer Mentoring is a caring and supportive relationship of equals for the passing on of professionalism and skills, knowledge and wisdom from one person to another with a focus on the needs of the mentee so the mentee can develop to her or his fullest potential and fulfill their own vision of the future.
When you agree to be the peer mentor of another person, you are agreeing to become their
- Coach - for transfer of skills
- Confidant
- Sounding board
- Counselor - to help explore consequences of potential decisions
- Facilitator - to create opportunities to use new skills
- Networker - to refer mentee to others for their expertise or needs
You will be expected to provide:
- Personal discussion
- Intense commitment
- Problem-solving assistance
- Referrals
- Safe haven
Don't hesitate to be a mentor -- even a mediocre mentor can be helpful by providing knowledge, experience, and access to information. A superior relationship can be built with good listening skills, problem-solving abilities, grasp of people and politics in the profession.
It is not about having a buddy
It is often said nowadays that mentoring is a collaborative, learning partnership as compared to the old hierarchical style of mentoring. That may well be true, but the mentee is still the focus of the relationship. This is not a substitute for making your own friends or building your own support network.
In peer mentoring, both parties are equals but the relationship differs from a mutual friendship. Its purpose is still to promote the development of the mentee. It is not the place for the mentor to lay out his or her problems or to hope to be educated about life or the habits and motives of the next generation or practice or office politics.
A mentor who demands equal time and personal support from the mentee is violating the terms of the mentoring relationship. Such a person should set up a three-way mentoring group. Person 1 is the mentor to Person 2 who is the mentor for Person 3 who mentors Person 1. In this way, each person receives the feedback and support they need while giving the same to another.
Benefits to Mentor
You can expect to receive:
- Personal satisfaction of passing on your knowledge
- Loyalty, mutual respect
- Credit for mentee's successes -- somewhere, someday
- Self-confidence
- Recognition
- Expansion of your personal network
- A new source and target for referrals
You can expect the relationship to provide you a refresher course in law, strategies, and attitudes as the mentee provides a mirror for your self-reflection on your own career and accomplishments.
You will have an opportunity to reflect on the significant events in your life, your successes and failures, and the obstacles you overcame and the lessons you learned.
You can expect to receive personal growth and learning, but you cannot demand it of the mentee. You will only gain these benefits if you put more effort into the relationship than the mentee and if you put some of the effort into looking into yourself.
Your ethical obligation
Before you work with anyone as their mentor:
- Know yourself
- Know your goals and your mission in life
- Practice enlightened self-management
Sheila Block, of Torys in Ontario says to potential mentees:
"Make yourself someone who others want to mentor. Demonstrate a positive attitude and drive. Be a good listener and receptive to criticism."
I say to the mentor: We expect no less of you.
